New dating website, Beautiful Insides, reveals both inner and outer beauty

Beautiful Insides is a new dating website which has taken online dating to the next level. Unlike traditional sites, Beautiful Insides reflects not only your physical appearance, but your inner beauty as well. Beautiful Insides utilizes the information you write in your profile to create a more accurate representation of what you look like. Founder and CEO of Beautiful Insides, Steven Martinez, told sources, “We all know that looks change as we get to know someone’s personality. Why waste all that time when you can see an accurate picture of someone’s looks and personality right from the start?” Take, for example, Ethan Douglas, who recently signed up on Beautiful Insides :

After writing his profile, which included his favorite hobbies of flicking babies in the face and defecating on his neighbor’s lawn, the following image is his resulting modified profile picture (person occupying left 2/3 of image):

Despite this website’s burgeoning success, Mr. Martinez stated that there are a few “quarks” which need to be worked out. For example, Ronald Straker, of Baltimore, MD, incorporated the words “Ron Weasley” and “Hogwarts”  into his profile a total of 56 times (which was impressive given that the total word count in his profile was 59 words). Due to the high number of times these words appeared in his profile, Mr. Straker’s picture resulted in the following image:


Considering that Mr. Straker is 6’4, 280 lbs, and African-American, it would appear that there are some flaws. When asked about the radical transformation and obvious technological error, Mr. Straker, enthusiastically cried out, “Gryffindor!!!” He then, apparently, mumbled “muggle fuckers” under his breath and hopped away on a broomstick.  Despite this, Mr. Martinez stated, “I don’t know, I think that’s pretty accurate. Other than his physical appearance, he looks exactly the same.” Sources reported that they had absolutely no idea how to respond to his comment.



*Free Trademark SearchThe term ‘Beautiful Insides’ was not found to be trademarked or copyrighted by any other source

*Image 1 attribution:
“Flickr 3 Things Girls Find Attractive in Older Men” by howcanifindlove.

*Image 2 attribution:
“Flickr Fat Man” by Will Scovill licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0. 

*Image 3 attribution:
Flickr ron-weasley” by briannagoldstein.

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