Water has always been speculated as being crucial to sustain human life, but has never been thoroughly tested and verified. Important scientists from a great university are five years into a decade long study, which will hopefully uncover the truth about our need for water.
A randomized double-blind control study was initiated in 2009 and is funded to continue through 2019. Funding agencies of the study told reporters, “We have great hope that this study will uncover the truth about water, but if results are questionable, we are willing to fund the study another 15.6 million dollars, each decade, until we find the answers we are looking for.”
A description of the study was provided by the lead researcher; “We split 400 humans into two groups, 200 in our experimental group who would go completely without water and 200 in the control condition who would consume only water. Our decision for the control condition to consume only water was to exclude any extraneous variables which might impact the study, such as food.”
Sources reported that the subjects have been housed in scientific research areas for the duration of the study. The lead researcher told reporters that the study got off to a rough start. “All of the subjects died within the first 7 days of the study, which makes it really hard to understand the role water played in their ability to sustain life. Those with water died; those without water died. We’re stumped.”
Despite this setback, he stated, “We’ve been monitoring their corpses around the clock for the past 1,700 days, hoping that they will regain life so that study can continue.”
*Image attribution
“Wikimedia Commons Recombinant DNA: Southern Blot” by Linda Bartlett (Photographer). Source: National Cancer Institute. This image has not been altered.
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