As concussion rates continue to rise among football players, other sports are beginning to feel the pressure to catch up. In order to help promote more concussions, the National Concussion Advocacy Program (NCAP) has proposed several changes for other popular sports.
- Punching a player in the face will be substituted for tagging someone out.
- The crowd will be provided with hammers, bricks, and any other hard objects to throw at the players.
- Outfielders will be required to catch fly balls with their heads.
- Nobody cares about soccer.
- A thick coat of Crisco will be evenly distributed on the court prior to the game and at halftime.
- All players will be blindfolded. The NCAP admitted that they “have no idea” how this will help, but all of the board members really want to see what will happen.
- Strong headbutting among team members will be encouraged following earned points and game wins.
- Improvised explosive devices (IEDs) will be strategically placed around the golf course.
- Golf-cart motors will be replaced with 560 hp Corvette LS8 engines.
Although it is unknown whether or not these changes will help to promote more concussions, the NCAP and sports players around the world are hopeful.