900,000 Honda minivan recall: Elaborate soccer ploy exposed

honda 2Honda recently recalled approximately 900,000 Odyssey minivans. Apparently, the cover of the fuel pump strainer is susceptible to acidic degradation, which increases the risk of fire due to fuel leaks.

The mechanic who originally discovered the issue, Allen Floyd, is currently being called into question. After thorough inspection of several hundred of these vehicles, mechanics at various Honda dealers are unable to find the reported problem.

Apparently, Mr. Floyd’s 7 year-old son, Tyler, is in a junior soccer league. For the past 3 years his soccer team has gone 0-21, scoring not even a single goal. In fact, one of Tyler’s teammates, Erik Francis, who reportedly “doesn’t quite understand the concept of soccer,” has scored 9 goals against their own team.

In order to gain the upper hand, Mr. Floyd stated, “Well, I figured if I wanted to get the inside info on how to win, my best bet would be to spy on all the soccer moms. When i reported the fuel pump cover thing I thought Honda would just call in all the minivan-driving soccer moms in our town, but it kinda went national.” He further stated, “I’d say I made a mistake, but I learned a ton of stuff about the other team’s players, and believe me, we’re going all the way next season.” For instance, he overheard that 8 year-old Peter Allen has type 1 diabetes and 7 year-old Milton Hawkins is severely asthmatic, both of whom are on the opposing blue team. Mr. Floyd told sources that “there will lots of running without rest breaks and extra sugary drinks for the blue team.”

So, how was Mr. Floyd able to pull off such an elaborate plan? Sources reported that he admitted that he “completely made it up”; the Honda Odyssey “doesn’t even actually have a fuel pump strainer.” Although facing jail-time, Mr. Floyd laughed uncontrollably as he told reporters that he thought his actions “were pretty funny.” He stated, “I mean, come on, all I did was tell my boss that I think something was wrong with the made up part and he immediately called the corporate office who recalled like almost a million minivans.”

Sources indicate that this is not the first time Mr. Floyd has pulled such a stunt. He previously worked for Toyota and was able to initiate the recall of 450,000 Camrys because “tiny unicorns were stuck in the exhaust pipe.” He also worked for Subaru, where he spurred a 73,000 car recall of the Outback by stating that “malicious engine leprechauns were chewing apart the cabin air filter.”

Image attribution:
Flickr Honda Dealership” by TheRealJlight.

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