At the annual Game Developers Conference in San Francisco, more commonly known as the Forever Virgins Club, Sony announced the development of “Project Morpheus,” a new virtual reality 3D gaming system which utilizes a headset with 360-degree field of vision.
Sony game developers explained the unique contribution this system will offer the gaming community. Sony representative, Alice Dennis, reported that 98% of gamers play within the deep dark crevices of their parent’s basement and Sony would like to expand upon this by allowing gamers to experience entirely new virtual basements. Gamers will be able to experience a multitude of new basement environments, all with different colored walls, various lighting options, and a wide variety of mother voice tones calling them up for dinner and yelling at them to turn the sound down.
Following the conference, Ms. Davis stated that she is optimistic the new product will be a success, but she has never seen so many sad and pathetic men and is considering becoming a lesbian.