President Obama recently visited Colorado to meet with local cannabis business owners. After visiting only three cannabis stores to discuss how current federal regulations will impact their business, Obama stated, “Wait guys…just wait….OK are you waiting?” After all Secret Service agents agreed that they were “waiting,” Obama screamed out, “Let’s get some fucking tacos!!”
Obama then attempted to call Mexican president, Enrique Peña Nieto, to let him know that “real Mexican tacos are the shit.”
After several failed attempts at calling the Mexican president, which was likely due to Obama pressing a sequence of digits which created the tune of “La Cucaracha,” he repeatedly called and hung up on the heads of the CIA, NSA, and Homeland Security.
Having forgotten what his initial goals where for his trip to Colorado, Obama requested that Air Force One be flown to San Francisco, to visit the popular taco restaurant, La Taquería. After consuming 36 tacos, Obama ordered “700 more tacos to-go.”
Sources confirmed that Obama was denied access to the nuclear football, which would grant him access to the United State’s nuclear arsenal, based on his statement that “seeing a nuclear bomb blow up would be fucking awesome.”