General Motors: “We screwed up trying to cover up our screw up”

A recent article indicated that General Motors admitted to their knowledge of a faulty 57-cent ignition part, which they took no action to fix because it would be too expensive.

General Motors CEO, Mary Barra, told reporters:

“On behalf of all GM employees, we sincerely apologize for not being able to cover this up better. It was never our intention for this to be exposed. We really thought the whole thing would just kinda blow over… As CEO, I promise that as we continue to screw up extensive measures will be taken to ensure that you will never know about it.”

Mrs. Barra also issued the following statement to the public regarding the faulty 57-cent ignition part:

“We would like to make amends for any damage that has been caused by this faulty part. If your car has experienced any technical difficulties, such as randomly shutting off while driving on the highway, we would like you to bring your car to the closest GM dealer so we can replace this part. GM will cover 100% of the cost for the replacement part; however, all we request is that you pay for the labor charges, which should amount to no more than two hours of labor at $99 per hour.”

Mrs. Barra also announced that due to financial strain, GM is relocating its world headquarters from their original location at the Renaissance Center complex in Detroit, to 7 year-old Timmy Brann’s teepee, which is located in the backyard of his parent’s Detroit home. GM financial analysts said they have worked out a deal with Timmy and are certain that this option will be less expensive.

                        Current GM Headquarters                        

GM head quarters


                                                                           Upcoming GM Headquarters





Original source: “GM slammed at hearing for failing to address 57-cent defect linked to deaths.” Published on April 1, 2014.

Image 1 attribution:
Flickr GM World Headquarters, Detroit,” by Andrea_44. This image was not altered.

Image 2 attribution:
Flickr teepee” by peaceocake. This image was not altered.


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