The average American gets swept up by a tornado at least eight times over the course of their lifetime. Looking to cut that number in half? Just follow these precautionary tornado tips:
- The center of the tornado, known as “the eye,” is relatively calm; run directly towards it for shelter.
- Live in an area with the highest frequency of tornadoes, it’ll be the last place they’ll think to look for you.
- Run really fast in circles; the tornado will think you’re another tornado and will leave you alone.
- Pray that there are no sharks in it, which was the case in the real life documentary Sharknado. Click here for more information about animals in tornadoes.
- Blow really really hard; you may alter its course.
- Yell at it; tornadoes scare easy.
- Man the fuck up, it’s just wind.
- Stop drop and roll. What works for fires might work for tornadoes.
- Do what Dorothy did, take a few hits of acid and enjoy the ride.
- Remember, every tornado has three emergency exits. Know where they are.
- Put on formal attire like a tuxedo or wedding gown. This won’t do anything but if you’re going to die you might as well go out in style.
- If you don’t own any formal attire, put on a Superman costume. Should you get sucked up by the tornado you’ll feel pretty cool flying around like Superman.
Image attribution:
“Flickr igI2_tornado_I2_02” by prana23. This image was not altered.
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As someone who actually lived through a tornado (Tuscaloosa, 2011), I can say, without question, that all of these are absolutely true.
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