Twelve tips for surviving a tornado

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The average American gets swept up by a tornado at least eight times over the course of their lifetime. Looking to cut that number in half? Just follow these precautionary tornado tips:

 

  1. The center of the tornado, known as “the eye,” is relatively calm; run directly towards it for shelter.
  2. Live in an area with the highest frequency of tornadoes, it’ll be the last place they’ll think to look for you.
  3. Run really fast in circles; the tornado will think you’re another tornado and will leave you alone.
  4. Pray that there are no sharks in it, which was the case in the real life documentary SharknadoClick here for more information about animals in tornadoes.
  5. Blow really really hard; you may alter its course.
  6. Yell at it; tornadoes scare easy.
  7. Man the fuck up, it’s just wind.
  8. Stop drop and roll. What works for fires might work for tornadoes.
  9. Do what Dorothy did, take a few hits of acid and enjoy the ride.
  10. Remember, every tornado has three emergency exits. Know where they are.
  11. Put on formal attire like a tuxedo or wedding gown. This won’t do anything but if you’re going to die you might as well go out in style.
  12. If you don’t own any formal attire, put on a Superman costume. Should you get sucked up by the tornado you’ll feel pretty cool flying around like Superman.

 

 

Image attribution:
Flickr igI2_tornado_I2_02” by prana23. This image was not altered.



Categories: Articles

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1 reply

  1. As someone who actually lived through a tornado (Tuscaloosa, 2011), I can say, without question, that all of these are absolutely true.

    Liked by 1 person

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