The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) has set strict age guidelines based on the theme and content of movies. Despite the numerous indicators and warnings that PG-13 rated movies may contain inappropriate material for ages 12 and younger, local 12-year-old, Mark Morant, devised an elaborate and illegal plan for viewing the film, Philomena. 

Mark’s parents reported that they are “mortified” and “extremely concerned” about their son’s actions. They stated that they don’t know what this Philomena movie is about, but it sounds like some kind of twisted sex movie.

Mark stated that it is not in fact a twisted sex movie, but a “miraculous and inspiring story.” Mark’s parents stated that this is probably a lie and that he was most likely on drugs when he made that statement. They said that they will attempt to control him, however, giving him up for adoption is a serious consideration.

Since the incident, Mark has been court-mandated to meet with clinical psychologist, Dr. Sally Hudson, who has expertise in adolescent behavior and aggression. Mainly, Dr. Hudson is worried about the psychological effect that certain aspects of the movie may have on Mark. For example, the movie in question, Philomena, incorporates several grossly inappropriate themes and scenes:

• The movie has sad parts
• Use of various British slang
• The actors jay-walk in one scene
• A woman discusses having sex briefly
• Two people are shown in a flashback kissing
• If it weren’t for clothes, the women would be nude
• A birthing scene (not appropriate for any age – it’s just gross)
• Although unclear, critics suspect that Philomena has ties with Al-Qaeda
• Although not shown, the producers “went out and got drunk” after filming
• A lack of law enforcement characters, which may cause the viewer to feel unsafe

Mark’s sentence is yet to be determined, but he will likely do substantial time in a maximum security facility.

Image 1 attribution:
“Flickr AMC Theatres Victoria Gardens” by Mike.

Categories: Articles

Tags: amc, daily potato news, movie theater, movies, MPAA, news parody, news satire, philomena, pt-13 comedy, the daily potato, the onion