50 something year old white man in business suit plans to make important speech


Sources confirmed that a 50 something year old white man dressed in business attire plans to give a speech about important issues. Our sources are currently on site and stated that crowds have already started gathering and although they are excited, they really have no clue who this guy is or what he’s going to talk about.

Supporters of the speaker showed up with signs and posters stating, “We support you!!” and “You have our vote!!” When questioned, however, they were unable to explain why they support him and were not completely sure if the speaker was actually running for any type of office. Regardless, several supporters stated, “Well, he looks pretty important, so we’ll probably agree with whatever he has to say.”

There were also protestors present who voiced their disapproval of the speaker. Most of them were wearing shirts stating the word “No.” They said that they would have included more words on their shirts had they known who the speaker was and what he planned to discuss. Despite this, they stated that “Whatever he has to say, we won’t stand for it.” They further remarked that, “Enough is enough, it’s time for change” and “We demand the truth!”

Due to several violent outbursts by protestors and at least a half-dozen molotov cocktails thrown through store windows, the speech was postponed by local police and will now occur at a later date.


Image attribution:
Paul Wischermann” by Meet Minneapolis

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