Our long-term public relations spokesman, Poor Drunk Bob, put on his best and only suit to interview the public. Although Poor Drunk Bob had no preplanned questions or relevant topics to discuss, he learned a great deal of facts about the general public:

1. 98% of people will avoid you if you approach them with a microphone
2. People do not like being poked in the back of the head
3. Doing jumping-jacks in an elevator isn’t is easy as it looks
4. Paying for public transportation with Monopoly money does not work
5. People will call the police if you stare at them long enough without saying anything
6. Handcuffs aren’t as comfortable as they look
7. People will give you their food if you lick it
8. If you foam at the mouth by popping a few Alka-Seltzer animal control will show up
9. Running around naked isn’t ok
10. Stealing a little boys lollipop really does make him cry
11. Talking to Chinese people in Chinese is hard if you don’t speak Chinese
12. Laying down in the middle of the street does not stop traffic

Stay tuned for more adventures with Poor Drunk Bob, pending his release from prison.

Image attribution:
“Kittyfeet.com” This image was not altered.

Categories: Articles

Tags: Comedy, daily potato news, funny, general public, interview, laughs, parody, sarcasm, sarcastic, satire, the daily potato, the onion