Local fruit stand owner, Tiffany Wheeler, has found that by placing a lowercase “i” in front of the names of all her food products, her sales have drastically increased. Ms. Wheeler told sources, “I think putting the ‘i’ before product names makes people think it has something to do with the Apple technology computer stuff, you know like iPhones and iPads and all that. Don’t tell anyone, but the produce we sell can’t actually hook up to your computer or anything.”

Based on the high demand for Ms. Wheeler’s iProduce, she has increased the prices on the following top-selling produce items:

• iBananas – $19.99 for 6
• iPeaches – $9 each
• iApples – $32 each (increased price due to coincidental name of fruit)
• iBoiledPeanuts – $3.50 per peanut
• iBagsOfIce (also called Apple Ice) – $72 per 3lb bag
• iSunflowerSeeds – $9.99 per 1/2 handful
• iCornOnTheCob – $18 for a set of 2

Sources were also able to interview several customers.

Rosie Erwin, 18: “Who’s gonna be the first one of my friends to get an iBanana? This girl!! God they are gonna be so jealous.”

Alan Thorton, 24: “Well the prices are pretty good here. I mean, I can’t even find iProduce on Amazon or even in the Apple store. Returns are hard though, the Apple store wouldn’t let me return my iPeach even though I had a receipt.”

Bryan Pedrosa, 32: “I think my iSunFlowerSeeds are defective. I put a few in my USB port but they didn’t upload to my Mac. Maybe I’m supposed to upload an iBoiledPeanut first?”

Ryan Minor, 23: “I heard that Ms. Wheeler worked with Steve Jobs a while ago and then he stole all of her ideas. I’m glad she’s still able to sell all her technology at this fruit stand though.”

Our sources plan to continue providing coverage on Ms. Wheeler’s iProduce stand; however, they are currently experiencing difficulty recharging their video equipment with her portable iWatermelon charger.

Image attribution:
“cjonline.com” 

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Tags: Apple, Comedy, daily potato news, funny, humor, iPad, iphone, laughs, parody, sarcasm, satire