The Onion recently posted an article briefly describing NASA’s plans to send a chimpanzee to the sun (click here for article). In order to better understand NASA’s goals, our sources spoke with NASA’s administrator, Charles Bolden.
Mr. Bolden told sources that their decision to explore the sun’s surface is primarily due to the fact that “the moon is pretty boring.” NASA scientists are well aware of the heat emitted by the sun and have taken precautions to ensure the safety of the chimpanzee; “We’re putting the little guy in an aluminized heat-resistant suit, which should do a pretty good job.” Despite this, some speculate that the aluminized suit, which can resist temperatures up to 2000 degrees F, will not be strong enough to withhold the 27 million degrees F of heat located on the sun’s surface.
Although NASA scientists have no reason to doubt the mission’s success, Mr. Boldon told sources that launching the chimpanzee into space will be difficult. “Well, the sun is too bright so we can’t really look directly at it to set the trajectory of the rocket, so we’re kinda just guessing where to aim it. It’s like throwing a rock off of a really high cliff and trying to hit an ant at the bottom. It’ll probably work out though.”