Thirty-one-year-old, Robert Middleton, is a self-proclaimed street magician that has been practicing the art of magic since childhood. Over the past three-years he has pulled off several elaborate disappearing acts.
Mr. Middleton told sources, “First of all, call me Street Dragon. I can’t fly or spit fire, but I’m pretty badass and everything else I do is like what a dragon does. Except for eating goats and small children, I don’t do that either. Actually, I should be chained and kept in a cave like most dragons, cause I’m crazy just like a dragon.”
After thoroughly discussing the history of dragons for an hour, our sources reminded Mr. Dragon that nobody gives a shit, and that we would like to know about his magic tricks. “Right, my disappearing magic tricks. This is gonna blow your mind. Over the past three years, I’ve made many things disappear into thin air, never to be seen again. First, my self-esteem. That was pretty easy to make vanish. I mean look at me, I’m a weird dude. Basically, my self-esteem disappeared as soon as I put this hat on and started standing on street corners. Or maybe it disappeared at birth and I never had any, I’m not sure.”
“Second, I made my finances disappear. This one took a little more time. When I started I had saved up a good bit of money. Everyday though, I’d show people my bank account on my phone, and wow, you wouldn’t believe the look of amazement on their faces as they saw my funds dwindle from day-to-day. I don’t think anyone can make money disappear as quickly as I can.”
“Last of all, I made my social life completely disappear. Although I have no friends and even pets won’t look at me, I can’t seem to shake my parents. They’ve been my hardest disappearing act so far.”
When asked about more common magic tricks using props such as playing cards, Mr. Dragon told sources, “Nah, I’ve never been any good at those tricks. But stay tuned, I blindly walk out into traffic at least twice a day. Making myself disappear is gonna be epic.”