Miss America 2015 Kira Kazantsev defends red cup talent

AP_MISSA_140914_DG_16x9_992Miss New York Kira Kazantsev recently won the 2015 Miss America pageant with her performance of singing Pharrell Williams’ “Happy” while sitting cross-legged on the stage and banging a red cup on the floor.

Although many are appalled that singing while banging a red plastic cup on the floor can be considered a talent, our sources recently spoke with Ms. Kazantsev, who defended her performance.

She stated, “Singing has always come naturally to me, so that aspect did not take much preparation. The red cup performance though, that took months of hard work. Most people don’t realize how tough it is. When I first started, it took me about a month to realize I can’t use regular glassware. I can’t tell you how many coffee mugs and wine and beer glasses I shattered before realizing it has to be a plastic cup. Another thing was when holding the cup it’s not that easy to bang it on the floor. For a while I missed the floor completely. Sometimes I’d bang it on my head, sometimes the ceiling, and sometimes I’d forget to pick up the cup before banging. The final thing I had to learn was that you can’t have liquids in the cup while banging it on the ground. Seriously, I’m sure you don’t believe me, but try it, the liquid spills everywhere. I tried every kind of liquid there is, but every single time it spilled. Overall though, I’m happy about my performance choice.”

There is also controversy regarding former 2014 Miss America winner, Mallory Hagan, who refuses to give up the crown. She told sources that she is already practicing cup banging with not just red cups, but blue and yellow cups, which are more difficult to bang. She hopes that if she gets good enough and can bang more than one cup at a time, she’ll be able to keep the crown. Of note, there is no record of anyone ever attempting to bang a green cup, as they are the most difficult to bang successfully.

In case you were too busy practicing your cup banging skills and missed the Miss America Pageant, here is a quick recap:

Miss-America-2015-Contestants

 

53 skinny white women with various colored hair wore bathing suits, sang and/or danced, and talked a little bit on stage. Results: skinny white women with blonde hair won.

 

 

 

Images:
1 – “ABC News: Miss America was Inspired by Pitch Perfect’” September 14, 2014.
2 – “www.gossip.com: Meet Miss America 2015 Contestants (PICS)” by Daniel Gates. September 13, 2014.

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4 replies

  1. Hilarious!

    But seriously, everyone knows green cups are the most difficult to bang on the floor. It’s the holy grail of cup-banging and many have been hurt attempting it.

    Liked by 1 person

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