Dan Grayson, 42, recently decided to have his heart removed in order to reduce his chances of having a future heart attack. Although Mr. Grayson is in perfect health, he told sources, “Well, you can never be too sure. My… Read More ›
Local sources recently reported that Danielle Jacobs, also known as “the lonely depressed woman in her mid-fifties who has a lot of cats and no life,” just ran out of space on the rear windshield of her minivan. Ms…. Read More ›
Despite receiving no response, a local man at the zoo continues to plead with a gecko to lower his car insurance deductible. Image attribution: “Flickr Madagascar Giant Day Gecko” by Nick Michalski.
With only 6 seconds remaining on the street light timer, 33-year-old Tyson Bryce had to make a split-second decision about whether or not he would be able to cross the street in time. Witnesses at the intersection reported that… Read More ›
Local shopper, Walter Ackman, was last seen three days ago entering The Gap at approximately 6:00 p.m. (last known location pictured on left). Video surveillance shows him entering The Gap but never exiting the store. Sales associates at The Gap… Read More ›
Kenneth Lapine, a local politician seeking re-election, mistakenly “botched” his own television ad campaign. Sources stated that the filming of the re-election ad was going smoothly until the end of the ad, when Mr. Lapine accidentally stated, “I’m Kenneth Lapine… Read More ›