Marco Rubio hits a child in face with a football – child reportedly dies on impact Neurosurgeon, Ben Carson, promotes medical procedure that will make you dumb enough to vote for him Donald Trump continues to demonstrate… Read More ›
news satire
Man has heart removed in order to help decrease risk of future heart attack
Dan Grayson, 42, recently decided to have his heart removed in order to reduce his chances of having a future heart attack. Although Mr. Grayson is in perfect health, he told sources, “Well, you can never be too sure. My… Read More ›
Actress with short haircut still confused for 12-year-old boy
Since receiving her short haircut, actress Ginnifer Goodwin continues to be mistaken for a preadolescent male. Although the film industry is aware that she is not in fact a young boy, the Walt Disney Company continues to offer her… Read More ›
Superbowl playing it safe
Due to the recent accusations stating that the Patriots intentionally deflated footballs to gain an advantage, the NFL has intentionally over inflated the footballs that will be used during the 2015 Super Bowl game. Some worry, however, that the… Read More ›
Marathon runner ‘convinced’ he is being followed
Long time marathon runner, James Hunt, told sources that he is “constantly being followed” and that he is “becoming more and more scared for his life.” A spokesman for the police department stated that they are taking Mr…. Read More ›
Man confirms inactive lifestyle with fitness bracelet
Thirty-nine year old, Donald Johnson, recently purchased an electronic fitness bracelet to track his daily fitness activities, such as steps taken and calories burned. After just two days of wearing the bracelet Mr. Johnson’s suspicions of leading a completely inactive… Read More ›
Local father purchases daughter first car
Local father, John Brant, told sources that he plans to purchase his 17 year-old daughter her first car. He stated that it is becoming increasingly difficult to drive her to and from all her after-school activities and that she is… Read More ›
Indecisive shopper still missing inside Gap store
Local shopper, Walter Ackman, was last seen three days ago entering The Gap at approximately 6:00 p.m. (last known location pictured on left). Video surveillance shows him entering The Gap but never exiting the store. Sales associates at The Gap… Read More ›
Tips for buying a new car and/or new cat
Cars and cats are commonly mistaken for one another. Not only are they similar with regard to spelling, but they also look similar, which has resulted in over 90% of the public having tried to pet their car or drive… Read More ›
Politician mistakenly does not approve his own TV ad campaign
Kenneth Lapine, a local politician seeking re-election, mistakenly “botched” his own television ad campaign. Sources stated that the filming of the re-election ad was going smoothly until the end of the ad, when Mr. Lapine accidentally stated, “I’m Kenneth Lapine… Read More ›
